Never though I be would confused meant to feel the pain that I delivered blindly. I refuse to believe that suddenly I became and always was creating difficulty for myself. Although I have a sharp agony lingering inside I stay afloat not to be corrupted by my own hatred. To align my self with a different energy is what I thirst for not that I believe I'm owed anything but will grow tired when opportunity doesn't becoming center with me.
A opportunity would be most appreciated especially in these times of need where people don't care if you bleed. Dedication isn't everything but yet we keep this feeling fed inside praying to truly gain what it represents.
Everyday I awake I feel my heart getting colder and I digest the stress blowout smoke and strive to complete this test. Understanding that nature of how people react to the ways of government strife, I pray for the souls that decided to take their life's.
Within this circle I will not give in to my sorrow. I wish to excel and soar beyond those that laced me with hate furthermore a false understanding of friendship.
I understand that it's quite easy to ridicule someones struggles when your not going through them your self. I just wish I can take my frustrations out proudly with nothing holding me back. Then maybe I will be looked upon seriously instead of being misunderstood for my methods.
This is the day I dreaded where I would feel out of place cause I gave in to the foolish emotion of love. No one will truly love you when they feel inside they you don't have a love for you self.
The evil I committed clots my mind did I get the best dish served cold the revenge of my karma taking it's position. It will all pass and be forgotten in time as I deal with the terms I was giving and what I created for myself.