Saturday, October 4, 2014

Misguided Expectations

 Walking down memory lane watching my past dreams before me. Knowing that aspirations that I once had will give me the momentum to soar to my truest endeavors.  Acknowledgement of the spirits that watch over me changing my language constantly to remain afloat wishing that I won't be left astray.

 Its a battle everyday to confront the evil I have within. Showing enormous amounts of strength cause the only way to diminish the treachery is to maintain the courage, I won't be a copy and blend in.

 Growing weary living my life in paranoia either its law enforcement or the jealousy intent of my enemies this is the circumstances I endure that produces grief. All I want is to make the demons in my mind bleed for they can't understand the righteousness I strive to reach.  Becoming amused by their confusion in their desperate struggles to figure me out then while they are sleeping thats the moments I take to lash about.

 I'll remain still giving of the coldest stares cause with excellent mega pixels their abilities won't allow them see me vividly. And yet to capture my moments of anguish that I unleashed upon my family is absolutely preposterous. All I want is to remove myself and not make a means to be a burden when I know for certain my destiny is more then my imaginations allows me to see.

How can you truly walk a path of redemption when there is so much evil amongst us? In these days nothing seems to change just the same pattern and all I'm left with is scraps but my incentive will drive me to reach success and murder the pain.

  My soul reminds me that I'm bless creating conversations with my inner self telling me to pick up the pen and paper before I grasp for my weapons off the shelf and let my anger out on those that wish for my downfall.  Those that view my scriptures stay in shock and be appalled I deliver my rawest emotions something people have difficulty being true with when this is only a mere reflection of them selfs. All I can say is lace up your boots for warfare and adjust to the fit.

 Don't want to be a individual thats always labeled as being the maker of complaints but who are they to judge. They never been on the verge of poverty, never had their civil rights been broken, or opportunities cheated out their grasp. Then they wonder why the youth see no hope, so to cope they find a means to escape the reality being clouded with marijuanna smoke.

 Finding hope within the criminal actions they commence cause this is what seems to give a good night sleep. Being able to provide for their already struggling house holds will the mother be able to provide for the starving children tonight.  Its all a business just another black youth torn between the lies these politicians tell and harassment of the white supremacist methods of America.

 This is why I envision happiness in my rest because just maybe I can show my brilliance to the creator above. Lost but still seeking for direction, troubled but I continue to embrace a clear mind away from the horror that remains to stay with me.

 When in my adolescent years this is not what I wanted but the choices I made only made me dig a grave for myself. Awaiting for my time to arise and when I scream all they devils turn to dust becoming cowards in fear from my battle-cry.

 Lord I ask that I will be able to embrace more pleasant times for my heart has become frozen but I know that I have been chosen. So I will work diligently to change my aftermath even if the hours of dusk has token over the actions are to fight with violence applied extreme force.

Lets be serious cause this is the only way to obtain the purest respect, and I will die with no regrets cause I am a product of my trails and errors. Mind forever corrupted by war now I scope the scene patiently preparing my self for whats in store.

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